


Your Name is Maurevar Carver

by SurviveEternity



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M, Gen, I APOLOGIZE, M/M, Multi, Other, and a lot of headcanoning, becomes pretty AU along the way, it starts canon and sorta...slides away, this about 3000 words of me trying to amend malcolm hawke's two histories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 03:38:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1289848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SurviveEternity/pseuds/SurviveEternity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Maurevar Carver and you’re eighteen when you meet Malachi. He’s fifteen and trouble, with his quick smile and dancing eyes. While most mages avoid you, you have a hard time avoiding him. He’s almost always there, making some horrible joke over your shoulder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Name is Maurevar Carver

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize in advance for writing in present 2nd POV. This was mainly me attempting to mesh Malcolm Hawke's two pasts and trying to get into Maurevar's head.

Your name is Maurevar Carver. You are sixteen when you decide to join the Templars, as you watch them walk past in their shining armor and red robes.

You’re eighteen when you become a Templar recruit, and your mother cries as she stares at her baby boy, all dressed up and making himself respectable. You hold your shield close to your chest and run a finger across the one edge, pride filling your every movement. You will have a job - your mother and sisters will have a home.

You’re eighteen when you meet Malachi. He’s fifteen and trouble, with his quick smile and dancing eyes. While most mages avoid you, you have a hard time avoiding him. He’s almost always there, making some horrible joke over your shoulder.

You are nineteen when Malachi kisses you for the first time. You’re both in some grubby closet, hidden far in the Circle library, and he’s gripping both sides of your head, kissing you like he’s dying. You don’t kiss back.

You’re twenty when you realize that Malachi’s heart can break. You stumble upon him in the hallway, gripping the arms of a mage who was just made Tranquil. Instead of his smile and dancing eyes, Malachi looks shattered, totally and completely. He raises one hand to pull the mage’s bangs away from the sun branded on her forehand, and the Tranquil - no, Maria, her name is Maria - asks him if anything was wrong. Malcolm gives her a shaky smile and makes a dumb joke that falls flat, then he turns around and walks away.

You’re twenty and you’re gathering a mage in your arms and kissing him and you know you can lose your position, but you don’t care. Malachi freezes, but he kisses back soon enough. His hand is entangled in your hair, and you wish you weren’t wearing so much armor so you could hold him closer, so you could feel him, but this is good enough for him, so it’s good enough for you.

You’re twenty-one when you realize Malachi is planning something. You find a piece of paper with a list of names scribbled on it and one has been underlined three times. MALCOLM HAWKE. You hide the piece of paper in your armor, so no one will find it, and then you confront Malachi about it in the shadows of the library.

You’re twenty-one when Malachi tells you he’s gonna run away from the Circle and change his name. He tells you about all the plans he has for ‘Malcolm Hawke’ and your heart sinks as you realize that none of them involve you. You kiss him hungrily and Malachi kisses back and you realize that he knows that for him to get his freedom, he’s going to have to lose you.

You’re twenty-three when you help Malachi steal his phylactery. Some part of you says that you shouldn’t be doing this, but the rest of you has looked Malachi in the eyes and seen how badly he needs out of the Circle. How badly he needs his freedom. You let him out of the tower, and he presses a kiss to your lips.

You’re twenty-three when the Templars arrange a search for a missing apostate by the name of Malachi and you send a prayer to Andraste that none of them notice the glass in the sole of your boots. 

You’re twenty-four when you request to be transferred somewhere, anywhere, else. You don’t care what Circle you get sent to, as long as it isn’t here. As long as you don’t walk the halls and keep thinking that Malachi - no, Malcolm - will be just around the corner. As long as you don’t have to see the places where you had spent so much time with him.

You’re twenty-five when you get transferred to the Kirkwall Circle. The Gallows is intimidating, and the statues don’t help much. There’re a number of new Templars to meet, many of whom have heard about how desperately you wanted transferred. The rumors about why you wanted to leave White Spire dogged you everywhere you went - some thought that you had fathered a child with a mage and was trying to escape it, others thought that you were tired of Orlais, more still believed you had had a relationship with a superior and it had gone south.

You’re twenty-six when you meet Meredith Stannard. She’s only a year younger than you and the story of her sister haunts her every step. Sometimes she makes you wonder if letting Malcolm escape was such a good idea, but you remember how he was starting to crack under the pressure of the Circle, how his spirits would fall whenever he saw a Tranquil or heard of a mage failing the Harrowing, no matter how well he hid himself behind his jokes.

You’re twenty-seven and searching the docks for a rumored blood mage when you meet Malcolm again. He’s striding off a boat from Antiva, his coat flapping behind him. Though you recognize what he carried on his back as the staff it was, it looked more like an axe than anything else. You quickly hide, so you don’t know if he recognizes you as you did him, but you know you’ll never forget how proud he looked, how quickly his smile flashed, like it used to - before Maria’s Rite of Tranquility instead of a Harrowing.

You’re twenty-seven when you find Malcolm in the Hanged Man, playing Wicked Grace, and he looks at you. The look in his eyes wasn’t the same as it always was, but the look of love was still there. You sit by him and watch as he wins every round. You know he’s cheating, but you don’t tell.

You’re twenty-eight when Malcolm meets Leandra Amell. You find him in Hightown, instead of the Hanged Man, and he’s watching her laughing and giggling with her friends. His eyes are filled with the same love that they are when he looks at you, and Leandra looks over at him and giggles. He grins broadly and waves, making her laugh harder.

You’re twenty-eight when you meet Leandra. You immediately like her because she attempted to beat you with a pan because she thought you were coming after Malcolm. She’s also regal and kind, and when she makes a mistake - and she makes plenty because she’s twenty years old and people make mistakes when they’re twenty - she’ll apologize to you afterwards.

You’re twenty-eight when Leandra pulls you into a kiss while Malcolm hugs you from behind and kisses your neck. You wake up the next morning, with Malcolm’s head on your chest and Leandra’s arms around you both and you realize that this is the meaning of love. Malcolm kisses you when he realizes you’re awake and Leandra gives you a sleepy smile and you can’t help but smile back at them.

You’re twenty-nine when Malcolm uses his magic in public, to save the leader of his mercenary crew - a woman named Bethany - and you do your best to stall the Templars. You later hear that the Amells’ firstborn daughter ran off into the night with a mysterious suitor and it breaks your heart because both of them have left you. Two times Malcolm Hawke has walked into your life, stolen your heart and walked out again. 

You’re thirty-two when you quit the Templars. You have an idea of where Malcolm and Leandra went, and Maker help you, you will find them again.

You’re thirty-three when you finally find them. They’re in a house in the backwoods of Ferelden and a little girl greets you at the door and proudly declares that her name is Marian. You crouch in front of her and tell her that your name is Maurevar and she can’t pronounce it correctly, so she just gives up and calls you ‘Mau-Mau’.

You’re thirty-three when you see Malcolm and Leandra again - Leandra is cradling an infant in her arms and Malcolm is just looking at you. Then he smiles and makes some quip you can’t hear, before crossing the room and pulling you into a deep kiss.

You’re thirty-five and working in the frontyard when Marian comes running to you, holding out hands glowing with the soft blue of magic. Quickly, you move your body so that if anyone comes up the path, they can’t see her and she gives you this big, proud smile and declares that she’s just like papa!

You’re thirty-seven when you, Leandra and Malcolm are woken up by running footsteps and a child’s shrill shriek. Bethany’s standing in the middle of the children’s bedroom, her hands filled with fire. Carver’s staring at her in shock, but Marian’s running back from the well, a bucket full of water in her hands. She throws it over Bethany, then runs over and gives her baby sister a hug, as Bethany breaks down into tears. Leandra is over there before you can blink, holding both girls tightly to her chest. You see Malcolm’s jaw tighten, then loosen, as sadness creeps into his eyes. You place a comforting arm around his back - he never wanted any of his children to have magic and now two of them do.

You’re thirty-eight when someone realizes that Malcolm has magic and that night you’re carrying Carver in your arms, as the six of you run quietly from the town. He keeps fisting his hands and saying that it isn’t fair that he has to leave all of his friends behind and you see Malcolm flinch, even as he jokes with Carver.

You’re thirty-nine when you give Carver a wooden sword and start teaching him to use it. Leandra sees it and doesn’t like it, but she doesn’t tell you to stop. Malcolm watches and gives ‘helpful’ hints, while Marian and Bethany quietly practice magic where no one will see them.

You’re thirty-nine when Marian falls from a tree and breaks her leg and Carver comes running to you, tears on his face and apologizing for ‘killing Mari’. You pick him up as Leandra asks him where Marian and Bethany are, then she heads off to go find them, while you carry Carver into town as you look for Malcolm.

You’re thirty-nine when Marian, laying on the ground as Malcolm worked on healing her leg, holds up Carver’s wooden sword with a wide grin. You never hear the full story of how the sword got in the tree - Marian’s only ten but already becoming Malcolm’s daughter - but you know that the boys who used to play with Marian stop coming around.

You’re forty-seven when Leandra collapses in the kitchen. You aren’t home when it happens, but Marian’s Mabari comes running into town, barking up a storm, and you and Malcolm run home, terror ruining through your veins. You find Marian holding her mother, begging her to wake up, and Bethany’s holding Leandra’s hand and Carver’s face is paler than you’ve ever seen it.

You’re forty-seven when the five of you bury Leandra solemnly. Bethany lays a rose down on Leandra’s grave, while tears run down her face, and even Carver’s crying, but Marian isn’t and it worries you. You place a hand on your daughter’s shoulder - because you’ve raised her since she was four, blood or not, she’s yours - and she gives you a smile and tells you not to worry about her.

You’re forty-seven when Malcolm comes home, looks around and then declares that you’re leaving. Where, he’s not sure, and you’re not sure either, but you help the kids pack and you leave Lothering behind.

You’re forty-seven when you officially become mercenaries. The Crimson Oars has disbanded in the last eighteen years, but there’s another group called the Red Iron which covers much of the same area. The rift between Marian and Carver which began so long ago has only grown larger and they fight almost constantly. Bethany tries to intervene every once in awhile, but she rarely succeeds. You try to talk to Carver, but he shuts you out almost immediately.

You’re forty-eight when a blond apostate almost literally trips over Marian one night. His name is Anders and he’s on his fifth escape from the Circle. Malcolm decides to let him stay, and you’re struck by how similar he and Malcolm are. He tells Marian that all he wants is “a pretty girl, a decent meal and the right to shoot lightning at fools” and she tells him that she doesn’t know about the first one, but he can have the other two if he stays with them. He tells her that he’ll gladly stay for all three and you wonder if he knows that she’s only nineteen.

You’re forty-eight when a fight goes poorly and Marian takes an arrow to the chest. You’re kneeling beside her fallen body and Anders, who’s desperately healing her, covering them both with your shield as Malcolm, Bethany and Carver take out the bandits with a ferocity you haven’t seen in years. You watch Anders healing your daughter and you realize that age difference be damned, they were in love. Something, that you knew from your time as a Templar, to be a rarity for mages.

You’re forty-nine when Templars find you using Anders’ phylactery. You see the terror in Anders’ eyes and you help kill all four Templars. You hand him his phylactery, as you had given Malcolm his twenty-six years ago, and watch him destroy it. Inside, you know you should feel some guilt - once upon a time, you were in their ranks - but as you listen to him and Marian plot about how to destroy the small vial, you know you made the right choice.

You’re fifty when the Blight begins and Carver asks to fight at Ostagar. You can feel Malcolm about to say no, so you promise that you’ll go with Carver. You’re there when the beacon is lit and no help comes, but you and Carver get out alive - when you regroup with everyone in Redcliffe, Malcolm runs over and kisses you passionately, while Marian and Bethany run to make sure that Carver is alright.

You’re fifty-one when the Blight ends and one of the Grey Wardens, a man named Alistair whom you had met at Ostagar, is named king. The other Grey Warden is declared the Hero of Ferelden. His boon of the new king is the independence of the Circle from the Chantry and when you hear of the news, you can’t stop smiling.

You’re fifty-one when you end up in Amaranthine. A darkspawn attacks Marian, Anders and Carver while they’re out protecting a merchant cart, and Carver becomes infected. The Warden-Commander, a dark haired man you remember seeing at Ostagar, before it all went to hell, offers to save Carver and Marian accepts. Your heart drops when Marian and Anders return without Carver and you almost open your mouth to accuse her of not being careful enough, but you see her white knuckled fists and the unshed tears in her eyes, and you instead comfort her.

You’re fifty-one when you discover that Carver’s become a Grey Warden. When you see him in his armor, standing tall, you realize that being a Grey Warden fits him and even the Warden-Commander says so. Malcolm offers to help teach the Wardens how to fight a mage, and Anders and Marian’s service as healers, and the Warden-Commander accepts, moving all of you inside Vigil’s Keep.

You’re fifty-one when the Warden-Commander leaves to defend Amaranthine and the Keep is attacked while he’s away. You fight as hard as you ever have, because the Keep has become home. Because Bethany’s been flirting with a Grey Warden named Nathaniel Howe, because Carver’s found his place in life, because Marian and Anders have spoken about settling here, because Malcolm likes teasing the Wardens and the guards, because this has become home, the first real home you’ve had since Lothering and Leandra’s death.

You’re fifty-one when the fighting’s finished and the Keep remains standing. Marian, Anders, Bethany and Malcolm are working on healing as many people as they can, while you’re helping gather the dead.

You’re fifty-two when Anders and Marian marry in a ceremony at the Keep. Bethany’s the maid of honor and Nathaniel Howe’s the best man and Marian’s the happiest you’ve ever seen her, while Anders has the widest smile on his face. Even Ser Pounce-a-Lot, his beloved tabby cat who survived the Siege, has a place in the ceremony - as the most adorable ring bearer in Amaranthine. Bethany says something about wishing Leandra had gotten to see this and you wish she had gotten to see it, too.

You’re fifty-three when Marian gives birth to your first grandchildren - beautiful twin daughters - and Anders is ecstatic and Marian is, too, when she’s not making jokes. Everyone in the Keep is excited and Bethany can’t stop talking about her new nieces and Carver’s promising to tell them horribly embarrassing stories about their mother when she was little and you have your arm draped across Malcolm’s shoulders and neither of you can’t stop smiling.

You’re fifty-five when Bethany marries Nathaniel Howe. Malcolm cries melodramatically over both of his baby girls being grown up and Carver threatens Nathaniel with severe injury if he harms Bethany in anyway and Marian does, too, even though she claims to be only joking - neither you nor Nathaniel is sure she really is.

Your name is Maurevar Carver and you’re fifty-seven when the world erupts into hell. The Mage-Templar war has begun.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this is it. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! <3
> 
> I believe the Mage-Templar War was going to happen, with or without Anders/Justice's involvement, so that's what's up the end.


End file.
